Sometimes i just cant help it but feel disappointed with myself . I really dont know whats becoming of me . A 15 year old student can just totally forgot that she has tuition that night and only remembered when the tuition had alr ended ! I complain about others changing and yet i had never look at myself in the mirror and self-reflect ): I procrastinate , make others feel bad about themselves , being irresponsible , regret all my past actions , dont know how to handle my problems and cry alot . I am paranoid and get jealous at the smallest thing ! Worst of all , my guzheng skills are like (N) !!!!!!!! DD; I really dont know what to do . Nothing seems to be going my way ... Nothing is turning out right . And there isnt anyone whom you can really confide in ):  I only have myself to blame ):

I'm destroying this fragile friendship of ours .